What my father taught me about authority

I didn’t do a social media post on Fathers’ Day this year. I was a bit too busy down in Nannup with my family helping my father wind up a business that had been part of all our lives for more than 30 years. 

The antiques side of the Old Templemore business was something that three generations of Twisses had been deeply involved in at various times of our lives, and clearing out the remaining pieces of furniture and shop fittings had us all feeling more than a little introspective. But that’s a thought for another day.

Seeing the elder of my two sisters step up and take responsibility for the organisation of the activities reminded me again of the way my dad had taught and modelled responsibility and authority over the years.

As I’m sure many of you have experienced, sibling rivalry can turn pretty chaotic very quickly, and this time we did have our moments of robust discussion as to the best way to coordinate our rabble and get things done effectively. The four of us siblings are very different people and had some very different ideas on how things ought to be done. Ultimately it was resolved very quickly, and we all just got on and did the job happily.

So why am I telling you this?

It’s because responsibility matters. And it’s because good fathers who understand, accept, and model responsibility to their children also teach them the moral link between it and authority.

In today’s political world, I don’t think I am alone in my disdain for the tendency of those leading our nation to exercise substantial authority over its citizens while at the same time evading any form of responsibility. 

We live in an era where governments can “change their position” from emphatic and core promises and act as if the public is the one at fault for noticing.

We live in an era where those in authority seek to evade accountability (the obligation to be answerable for how that responsibility was carried out). I see it all the time in how much of today’s legislation is drafted.

Haile Selassie, the Emperor of Ethiopia from 1930 to 1974, may seem an unusual leader to quote, but I think he captured the principle better than most when he said, “There is no power or authority without responsibility, and he who accepts the one cannot escape or evade the other.”

When I was in the Navy, whenever someone tried to evade responsibility, we said they had sloping shoulders.

While mothers undoubtedly play a critical part in modelling and teaching responsibility, a father who steps forward in sacrificial love and willing responsibility for his family leaves an inheritance that echoes through the generations.

My father, like all of us fathers, is not perfect, but I have had the honour of watching him over my lifetime model a type of responsibility that took the world before him seriously and assumed authority where necessary. I have also had the privilege of seeing him pass on that authority to us children as we ourselves have stepped up.

Last weekend, in the moments we had together helping Dad wrap up the final pieces of a decades-long love affair with the antiques trade, we all had a glimpse of the legacy he has left us now as reasonably mature children. The quiet authority of my sister, and the earned respect we rowdy siblings gave her for her selflessly taking on the mantle of responsibility, was a testament to the example my father set for us all these years.

As I reflected over the weekend on how I might capture what Fathers’ Day means, the model of responsibility over our lifetimes was what struck me most. Responsibility is one of those virtues that cannot simply be taught; it must be modelled. Children learn it by watching the adults around them shoulder burdens, keep their word, and place duty ahead of convenience. While mothers and fathers both play an indispensable role in that task, the example of a father who willingly accepts responsibility for his family leaves a legacy that often extends far beyond his own lifetime.

As a nation, we desperately need more of that kind of leadership. If Australia is to remain a society marked by character, trust, and accountability, then we must once again recognise the importance of fathers and the generations of responsible citizens they help to shape.